i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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