You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
