The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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