question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
