Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
