I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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