What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
