you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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