So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
