you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
