So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
