So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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