video games are the ultimate cock blocker
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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