Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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