sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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