I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
