dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
