you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
