I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
