Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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