I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
