Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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