I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize