She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
A+ Viking dick
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
