The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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