We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
