I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
