we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
