Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
