my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
