I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
