it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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