im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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