Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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