I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
