She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
