my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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