Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
