just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
