tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
