i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You made out with two different species that night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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