She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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