found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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