my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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