Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
