How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
