Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
