This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
