Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
