dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
